Brian Ramhal

Okay, now I hate, and like, hippies about as much as the next guy. But, a few weeks ago a hippie, hipster, friend of mine told me this philosophical theory that he thought had a very good foundation. Before I weigh in, here's the theory.

So every person carries an energy force with them. It's not a scientific one built on atoms and quarks, but it's a soulful like entity. It is essentially their being and life-force. Now, people can take each other's energy away from them by.......................masturbating to them. That's why hookers and porn stars are so warn down. People have jacked off to them so much they've lost their energy.

What the fuck!!!? This is by far the most absurd theory I have ever heard. At least, it was the most absurd theory I had every heard until I started to really think about it. Then I realized that it was, in fact, the most absurd theory I had every heard. I mean it is laterally retarded. How could anyone seriously consider it to be philosophically sound? I can't believe there are people out there that believe such crazy shit. I mean Holocaust deniers are one thing, but this? I have more respect for frat guys who anal penetrate each other with vibrators. Well, actually I don't. (stay tuned to my next blog for the details on that!)

Anyway, this is just an example of how ridiculous some hippies can be.